Putting myself in check

I am a complainer by nature. I realize that is not one of my finer qualities, but it's the truth. I have been especially complain-ey this last week (ok, maybe this last year) about moving, our house not selling, living in the apartment, job situation, school situation, etc etc....and now moving again.I've been packing all week preparing for Friday and the apartment is an absolute disaster. Everything is out of place, everything is unorganized, pushed to the side, stacked to the ceiling, and all up in my way. Complain much? YES! Just a few minutes ago I was tip toeing quietly down the hall to take a shower. Addy is sleeping so I was trying my very best not to wake her sshhhhh so quiet.....and down I go.I trip over a stack of boxes and face plant onto the floor. I said a string of some very unlady like words and then went on to the bedroom and almost started crying. Sound a little crazy? Yes! But in my defense, we've got a lot going on this week, I'm feeling just a little stressed, I strongly dislike big messes, its PMS week, and I fell down and it hurt! Good thing is my little spill did not wake the baby! I decided I needed to take a moment to stop complaining and just be thankful. So I am going to list at least 10 things that I am thankful for and hope that it gives me a little perspective.

1. I am thankful for my sweet baby girl. God has blessed in the most incredible way by giving me that precious little person. I am just overwhelmed by the love I feel for her.
2. I am thankful for Justin. He has been the sole provider for our family for almost a year now and he works so so hard. He works harder than anyone I've ever known and he does it for me and Addy. He works long, stressful hours and most days still manages to come home in a great mood. We love daddy!
3. I am thankful for my Mom. She is the best mom is the world. She's my best friend, and even at 29 years old, she still knows how to make everything all better when its not going my way.
4. I am thankful for my family. I don't have a big one, basically just me, mom, Ryan and Lisa, and Mimi. But they are pretty great. I have really enjoyed being closer to Ryan and Lisa this year and I'm looking forward to being even closer after we move. Any big sister worth her salt would never publicly admit to liking her little brother- and I totally don't- but he's really ok and he's a great uncle. Pog- if you read this, I will still beat you up if you try to question my authority.
5. I am thankful for my in law family. I hate the word in law, it sounds so formal. And I am really very lucky because I married into a great family that has always accepted me with love. I've never had a big family, so being a part of Justin's is always a fun experience.
6. I am thankful for my friends. I am a firm believer that a woman is only as strong as the circle of women that she surrounds herself with, and I know some pretty fabulous ladies!
7. I am thankful that I will be starting back to school in the fall. I have been working on my masters since 2008! That's a long time! I am looking forward to finishing up my final two semesters.
8. I am thankful that we found a house to move to. It was pretty slim pickins' and I wasn't sure we would be able to find anything. We got very lucky, which was a nice change from the usual. It is a nice home in a good neighborhood and close to family.
9. I am thankful for my health and my family's health.
10. I am thankful for naps. Sounds like a silly one after all the super good ones I listed above right? But seriously, I think God invented naps specifically for stay at home Moms. It is how we keep our sanity :)

Happy weigh in day to me!

Tuesday morning is my weekly weigh in day. In the past I have always weighed in on Mondays. But I know that the weekends are when I am most likely to cheat be more lenient with my diet so I like having Mondays to get back on track. Today the scale revealed that I have lost 3.5 lbs! I LOVE having a really good week, it makes me want more! I started a new work out last week and I think that is what pulled me out of my rut. I am doing Power 90 and its sort of like a prerequisite to P90X. I won't say that I enjoy it (because I hate all exercise) but as far as a workout goes, I like it. It isn't dancey at all which is great for me because I zero amounts of grace and balance. It is challenging, but do-able. I hate a workout that is so challenging that you just feel like an out of shape loser because you can't keep up with the instructor and the cute skinny half-dressed people in the background. When I get something like that, I end up either half-ass doing the workout, or I just quit all together. So challenging yet do-able is perfect for me. I also like that it has 2 levels so that once you master level 1, you can move on to the next. This should keep me from getting too bored and also avoid that plateau we all hate.

I'm excited! I definitely feel like I've gotten back my weight loss mojo. I have been slacking for some time and feeling pretty disgusted with myself. I have 18.5 lbs to go, but I feel like I'm on the right road to get there. I keep looking at my buffalo picture which also keeps me motivated. I'm not ready to share this picture yet, but it will be one of my "before" pics for sure. It is a picture I took of myself and Addy on Valentines Day and I call it my buffalo picture because in it I look like a baby buffalo! Ugh, it is seriously horrible! But I will share this photo, which is also good motivation. This is me and my girlfriend Sam looking fabulous at her Bachelorette party in August 2008 (2 months before my own wedding.) I haven't ever gotten to say this before, but I think I look pretty smokin' here. I want to look like this again!

Two Fun Days in a Row!

Momma and Addy have been livin' it up the last two days! Yesterday was the first warm day of the spring and I was super excited to put Addy in one of her new spring outfits that she got for her birthday. Luckily, one of my most favorite of those outfits was lime green and perfect for her to wear on St. Patty's Day! I decided that morning that I wanted to take Addy for her first frozen yogurt treat. She has 4 top teeth coming in and it has been so so hard on her this last week. Two of them have finally broken through and you can see white, but the other two are definitely being stubborn and causing my normally sweet baby to be some what demon-ish at times. Anyway, I thought the yogurt would feel wonderful to her sore little gums. We lucked out when Uncle Pog needed a ride home from work around lunch and he got to join us at the most delicious fro-yo spot, Sweet Cee-Cee's. After that we did a little window shopping and then headed home for a good nap.

Today, we went to the Nashville zoo with Julie and Lucy. The weather was fabulous! It was definitely warm, but there was a nice cool breeze every now and then that kept it nice. Addy is still a little to young to enjoy the zoo because she doesn't understand, I guess how to look for the animals. You know they are always hiding and you have to point them out. She did, however, like the meerkats! I was able to push the stroller right up to the exhibit and the meerkats would come right up to the glass and scratch. Both of the girls really got a kick out of that. Lucy loved looking at all the animals. We took our lunch and had a great picnic in the designated grassy picnic area. It was such a nice change to our normal routine, and the fresh air was awesome! I really enjoyed it and even got a little sun on my arms. I'm crossing my fingers for a little touch of tan :)

Sadly the fun, at least for now, is over. This weekend we are going into full packing mode. This time next week we will be getting ready for bed for the first night in our new house. I like the sound of that!

A long year, a fresh start

We have been in Nashville almost a year now. Our official move-in date here at our apartment was April 9th and our official moving-out date is now set for March 25, which is next Friday. To say I am HAPPY is an understatement. I am so excited to be getting out of this apartment that I can hardly stand it! We are moving into a house in Spring Hill which means more square footage! This last year has been like living in a shoe box, we are literally busting at the seams. We are renting because our home in Memphis never sold. We currently have renters living there. It is not our ideal situation, but for now it is what works. Either way, I am ready to say good bye to the obnoxious dryer, the stomp queen above us, muddy walkways, and broken fridge drawers and say HELLO to a jacuzi tub, a mailbox that is actually in my driveway, a playroom, our grill, and a yard where Addy can play!

I have been staying at home with Addy since last August. I have enjoyed her so much, however I never had a clue how much work stay at home Moms do and how hard it can be sometimes. It is one of those things that I don't think you can truly respect until you have done it. My life completely revolves around her, and I wouldn't have it any other way. But it is difficult not to lose yourself when you live for someone else. I have struggled with that as well as trying to find my way through maintaining a marraige after a baby. I remember my pre-baby self saying things like, "I am so busy", "I'm so tired", and "There's just not enough hours in the day". HA HA, is all I have to say to that. I didn't know what tired was...and lets not even talk about free time. What in the world was I doing then, because now I know what it means to seriously have not a free minute. Oh I remember what I was doing....going to the gym, getting my nails done, napping, happy hour with the girls, long weekends with Justin. You know, stuff like that. Our lives have definitely changed, but absolutely for the better. Justin works such long days that sometimes its like we are just ships passing in the night. But we have finally figured out little ways to make the most of our time together and life is good. As for keeping up with myelf, I have recently gotten back on my diet and started working out again. It is difficult to find the time and even more difficult not to snack during the day since I am at home and within pantry reach at all times. But working on my body makes me feel good about myself, even though it is a daily challenge. I didn't reach my goal last year of running a 5K, but I have not given up and I am looking forward to spring temperatures and getting back into my running shoes! Several of my girlfriends are also doing weight watchers so we all encourage eachother. Although it would be nice if any of them were close enough to workout with, I am still thankful we are doing it together. So I'm feeling good.

We just celebrated Adalyn's 1st birthday a couple of weeks ago. The weather was beautiful and so many of our family and friends came to share our special day. I worked very hard on the planning and putting everything together. I was really happy with the way everything turned out, but seriusly, first birthday parties are a lot of work! It was so much fun to see Addy and all of her little friends down in the floor playing together. Most of my friends' kids are Addy's age or within a year or so of her and I love that they will be friends too. I have always been blessed with such amazing friends. I can't believe my pretty girl is already one! Her first year went by too fast. Every new stage in her life was so fun and exciting and Justin and I did our best to take in every precious moment. I am looking forward to all the new things her second year will bring. I see walking in our very near future! I wouldn't trade being home with her for anything in the world. I am so greatful for Justin giving me this opportunity. Being a single income family was never in our plans and it is not easy. I will never ever be able to thank him enough for the time she and I spend together. I love that little girl more than anything in the world. Being her Mom is the best job I will ever have, and despite all my pregnancy nightmares, I am actually pretty good at it.

I will be moving temporarily back to Jackson in the fall with Addy. Unfortunately only 8 hours of my graduate courses will transfer so since I have over 30 hours of credit I have to finish at the University of Memphis. I will begin student teaching in August and luckily I can complete this in Jackson where I can live with Mom and I have lots of support to help with Addy. I am dreading being away from Justin through the week, especially with monkey. She adores her daddy and I know it will be so hard on both of them. After the fall I will be certified to teach, and if there happens to be openings, I will be back to work in January. Although the 16 weeks will be hard on all of us, it will be so worth it in the end. I will have to complete my master's project online in the spring and then I will finally graduate in May 2012. Yay!!!

To sum up, this was one of the hardest but at the same time the absolute happiest year of my life. Having Adalyn has brought more love and laughter into our lives than we could have ever imagined. Good things are coming this way for our happy little family. Stay tuned....

Three Months

How in the world is my little baby three months old already?! I can't believe how quickly the time is going by. She is such a joy to me. Right now she is very in to her bumbo seat. She thinks that laying down is for little babies and that sitting up in your bumbo seat is totally where its at! She is "talking" more and seems to coo and gurgle sometimes as if she was in conversation with me. She watches me so intently when I talk to her and smiles when I smile or laugh. It is awesome!

We took her to the pool for the first time two weekends ago. Unfortunately she was too small for the floaty that we bought her. Funny, that is the first time we have EVER been able to say that about anything when it comes to Addy, she's a big girl! When I bought it, I noticed that the box said 6+months, but I just never thought that my 17lb baby would ever be too small for anything. So pool day didn't go exactly as planned, but she did seem to like the water and I she looked adorable in her swimsuit!

Toys!

Yesterday was such a fun day! First of all I have to say again how much I LOVE my Tuesdays and Thursdays at home with Adalyn. I absolutely would not trade them for anything in the world. Some days are productive and others are not. Some days we get out of the house, and some days we do not. Either way, whatever we do, the day is awesome hanging out just the two of us!

As we are approaching 3 months (next week!) Addy is changing so much, both physically and developmentally. It is like she does something new every day! She laughed out loud for the first time on Mother's Day. It was a beautiful sound! Justin was talking to her and she was just listening so intently and then she let out a little chuckle. It was so precious and I could see how much it meant to her Daddy that he was the first one she laughed at! She smiles all the time in response to me talking to her and "talks" too. Her little fat, cheeky, grin is just too cute for words! I would love to show off some pictures of this pretty smile, however, I can't seem to catch it on camera. She can just be laughing and smiling away, but as soon as I break out the camera...the show is over. She puts on that pouty little grumpy face that you see in all of her pictures. I honestly think that the camera distracts her. It is grey and shiny and when it is in front of her she doesn't care what I am doing or what noises I am making to get her to laugh, she only wants to focus on the grey shiny thing...and focusing requires her serious face! But I am determined to catch that smile!

So, yesterday I had her in the floor propped up on her boppy pillow and I offered her a stuffed monkey to play with. She has never expressed any interest in toys of any kind, not even a rattle. So I expected her to look at me crazy and "request" her passy. She has started teething early so it is hard on her as she isn't old enough to really know how to hold a teether and put it to her mouth to chew. I tried holding an iced one to her mouth for her so that she could chew, but she just licked it like an ice cream cone...which was super cute, but not really helping her little swollen gum. The monkey that I offered her has chewable hands so I thought she might want to give it a try. She didn't care for the chewy hands but she did LOVE putting the soft parts of the monkey in her mouth. It was so so so SO cute. She was even holding him! She was going to town chewing on that monkey and Mommy was loving it. I took like a million pictures which I will post when I have a minute to download them to my computer. I couldn't believe she was finally taking interest in toys. I gave her a few more to try out. She still didn't care much for anything hard like rattles or teethers, but she was loving anything soft and furry and put it right in her mouth. I was so proud! I love that little girl!

Change

It has been over a month since my last post. I have vowed that I am going to start making time for my blog again because I really love writing this. It is like an outlet for me to just write whatever I want about my thoughts and experiences. Cheap therapy I guess you could say.



Anyway-so much has changed since I posted on Addy's one month birthday. Pretty much EVERYTHING in my life has changed in the last 5 weeks. Justin received a promotion at work, which is fantastic and I am so proud of him. However, with this promotion came a transfer to Nashville. I was excited to move. We have always hoped to to relocate to Nashville because it is just a nice place to live than Memphis and we have both of our siblings in the Nashville area. However, the idea of moving with a newborn was a very scary idea, not to mention we were going to have to put our house on the market at a not so great time and hope that it sells before Kenworth stops paying for our apartment in Nashville. Also, Justin's company was not into waiting around and wanted us to move in 2 weeks. We had a ton of work to complete on the house to get it ready to sell, we had to find an apartment and a daycare in Nashville, I had to find a job because my job did not have a position to transfer me to, and oh yeah....I had a one month old baby!



Moving day was horrible. We had been so rushed that everything was just thrown together and we were no where near as prepared for the move as we should have been. We had to store a great deal of our stuff because of course when you are downsizing from a 1700 square foot house to a 1100 square foot apartment, there is just not enough room for everything. So we had two separate moving trips, one to Brownsville for storage at Dee's house, and then the real move to Nashville. There was just not enough time to finish everything we had to do to the house to get it ready to sell so we just had to accept that we were going to have to come back next weekend and finish up. I hated walking out of my empty house. It was so emotional for me. That was the first home that Justin and I had together. I remember when we were looking for houses to buy. That was the first home that we saw. I loved it so much then, I thought it was perfect. And it was, it was a great place to live and I enjoyed so much making it into a home for us. I couldn't help but cry as I walked through the house. Around every corner there was a wonderful memory, like Justin putting together my yard snowman, cooking our first Thanksgiving meal, the morning that I found out I was pregnant, and bringing home our beautiful daughter from the hospital.



Let me just say that all of my fears and anxieties were justified and the entire moving process was a giant disaster. We were a perfect example of Newtons' law, and everything that could go wrong....did! I won't even go into all of the disastrous events...from the no panties fiasco to all of my good dishes being broken to the US Marshalls showing up on our doorstep the first day I was home alone with the baby....but I promise you, it was a nightmare. However, we did survive. We are finally somewhat settled into our tiny shoebox apartment. We are definitely busting at the seams and there is absolutely not even close to enough room...but its OK and I remind myself daily that it is only temporary. This is definitely not the way I thou gt I would be living as I raise my first child...but again...only temporary.



We no longer have Pooh. If you know Pooh, you know that he is just not an apartment dog- he is hyper and crazy and full of energy. But if you know me, you also know that my dogs are more than pets, they are family. I love Pooh so much and giving him to a new family was one of the hardest things I have had to do. I just felt like I was giving away a part of myself. My heart broke the day that Justin left to take him to his new home. Even typing this I can't help but tear up. I always wonder what he is doing and how he is and I miss him every single day.

I started my new job two weeks ago today. My brother in law, Brandon, owns a fitness gym called Chadwicks and he was gracious enough to offer me a job after I found out that I would not be able to transfer with Compass. I work the front desk part time and I am off on Tuesdays and Thursdays, which is such a blessing to be home two days a week with Addy. I get a little bored at work sometimes, but I am thankful to have a job and even more thankful for the time I get to spend with my daughter. I was definitely disappointed that Compass was not able to transfer me, because I did enjoy what I did there. But overall I am happy that things turned out the way that they did. The gym is right across the street from Adalyn's day care so it only takes me 1 minute to get over there to her at the end of the day. I pretty much run to my car at 5:00, I just can't wait to get there and scoop that little monkey up in my arms. Being with her is the best part of my day.

Justin's new job has proven to be quite a challenge. The Nashville shop has some major issues and he was hired as sort of the clean up guy to come in and fix everything. So his days are long and tiresome and he isn't home very much through the week. He is usually home just in time to help me get Addy ready for bed and then we go to bed ourselves as he is usually up and going again by 5am. This has been a hard adjustment for me and I'm sure for him as well. I feel lonely a lot and miss spending time with my hubby. I wish that he got to spend more time with Addy too. But I am so very proud of him and all of his accomplishments.

Addy is 10 weeks old now. I can't believe how fast time flies. Saturday she laughed out loud for the first time. It was precious! She smiles all the time and she is just so busy! She was like that when I was pregnant and I guess it just carried over. That girl is never still unless she is sleeping! I never imagined I could love someone so much. I just look at her and sometimes I feel like I could just bust from all the love I feel for her. I love love LOVE that baby!