1 Month Old

I can't believe Adalyn is one month old today. It has been exactly four weeks today since my sweet little girl was born. The time has flown by so fast and she has changed so much already. She makes the sweetest little noises, especially when she is eating, which is her most favorite thing to do. I can tell when she hears my voice and is looking for me. Her little face just makes my heart melt. Being a mommy is the most awesome experience I have ever had in my life. I love every single moment, even the crying and the diapers, I love it all, she is so amazing! I never thought I could love anyone so much! We have so much going on right now, but I am making sure that I enjoy every second that I have with her. I hate to even think about going back to work, but for now I have three more weeks to spend every waking moment focused on loving on this sweet little baby!

Adalyn

Adalyn Ryan Baker was born on Friday February 26 at 10:55 am. She weighed 8lbs and 15 oz and was 21 inches long. The first comment out of my doctor's mouth was "Look at those cheeks!" I absolutely could not believe how beautiful she was when they brought her around that curtain and showed me her face for the very first time. It was love at first sight for me and for Justin. Our baby girl is finally here!

I have been slacking on my blogging since she was born, but being a new mommy is very time consuming. I spend most of my day either feeding, changing, or pumping. If I'm not doing one of those things, I'm catching a nap, or just staring in wonder at my beautiful daughter. It is just amazing that Justin and I created that tiny precious little thing. Who needs TV, I really could just watch her all day long. She makes the cutest little faces, even when she is sleeping and makes the cutest little sounds. Really, everything she does is cute and perfect to me.

We are doing really well. Addy had lost a little weight at her first doctor's appointment, but has since regained back to her birth weight plus some. On this past Tuesday she was 9lbs. She eats good and sleeps good, just has her nights and days a little mixed up. During the day she will sleep any where from 3-4 1/2 hours between eating. At night she has been waking up every hour to two hours. We put her in her nursery for the first time two nights ago and that is really when this started. I almost wonder if she can sense that she is all alone in there and maybe she is scared. I know that is probably not it and I am just a silly mommy, but it still makes me a little sad. Its not like I am really getting sleep anyway because with her in the other room all I do is stare at the baby monitor screen. That thing by the way, is awesome! Our monitor is so good I can actually see her breathing on it. Thank you Summar baby monitor!

My recovery is going well. I am still pretty sore and on days that I do more or get out it gets worse, but I hardly have time to think about it or notice. The whole c-section thing was not nearly as bad as I had imagined it to be.

Our family and friends have been so amazing since we got home. We have had so many to bring by food, call to check on us, coming by to visit, or just sending sweet messages on facebook. I have just been blown a way by all the love and support. We are so very blessed!

My Mom has been staying with us since she was born and today she went home. I do not know what I would have done the past two weeks without her. She has kept my house clean, laundry done, made sure we ate, and done anything and everything I needed or asked. She is the best. I am so thankful that she was able to be here with me and Addy. I have been sad all day about her leaving and we both miss Nana already.

Today we took Adalyn to see the Easter Bunny to have her picture made. She was a perfect little angel and slept through the whole thing! It is still a little surreal to me that I actually have a baby to take to have her first picture with the Easter Bunny! The last two weeks have been full of firsts and many beautiful memories have been made. I already see how quickly the time flies. She is two weeks old....it seems like she was born yesterday. Our lives have completely changed, and I am loving every minute of it. Being a mommy is more amazing than I could have ever expected.

I can't believe she is really here and really ours!

Tomorrow I become a Mommy

I can't be live this journey has finally come to the end. I remember the morning that I found out I was pregnant. It was late June, we had been back from our Canadian vacation right at two weeks. I sort of had an inkling...(that added on to the fact that I knew we had too much Riesling on a wine tour one night and forgot our "prevention" while on vaca). I had taken a pregnancy test two days before and it was negative, but I just had a feeling. It was a Friday morning. I took my test in the other bathroom while Justin was showering because if it was negative again I didn't want him to think I was crazy. The first pink line appeared and then a very faint...VERY FAINT second line began to show. I was shaking so hard I could hardly walk into our bathroom. I made Justin get out of the shower to look at it. He was a little more skeptical, but I could see the slightest glimpse of excitement spread across his face. What an incredible morning that was! It seems like it was just a few weeks ago....not 9 months ago. The time has flown by so fast. OK, maybe not the last 4 weeks or so, but the rest of it really and truly has just been a blur. A crazy, emotional, beautiful, surprising, special, breath taking, blur.

Today was my last day of being a non-parent. I woke up very early this morning and came down stairs. I spent about an hour holding Darby and giving her lots of kisses. It seems like she sort of knows that everything in our lives is about to change. I know I won't get to spend near as much time loving on my first born baby after Addy gets here, so I loved our cuddle time. After Justin got up, we went to breakfast at Waffle House. I LOVE Waffle House and it was delicious. We came home and spent the rest of the afternoon finishing up some last minute stuff. I finished up my work and set my voicemail and email to away messages. It feels very strange that I won't be at work for 6-8 weeks! I wanted to leave my caseload in a good place so that my supervisor wouldn't be in a hot mess while I am out. Mom cleaned the house all morning...like serious clean, she even did the windows. I am positive that my windows have never been cleaned. Justin ran some errands, picked up groceries, got batteries in everything that is baby, and got the wipe warmer going. I finished adding last minute things into our hospital bag and got the last of our thank you notes written and in the mail. After that we really just took it easy and relaxed a little. Mom cooked us a yummy spaghetti dinner tonight, and my brother just got here about 30 minutes ago. It is getting so close! We have lots of family and friends that will be sharing our big day with us and that makes me very happy!

I wish I could write exactly how I am feeling right now, but I can't seem to think of the right words. I am so full of emotions like excitement and anticipation and love and....so many other things. But I also feel very peaceful. I am not nervous at all. That could all change in the morning, but I will enjoy the calm for now. As much as I can't wait to see my daughter for the first time, I really really can't wait to see Justin see and hold our daughter for the first time. He is going to be such a wonderful Daddy! I am about to have a little family....I never imagined I would ever be this lucky.

Tonight I will be praying for a safe delivery of one healthy baby girl. I can't believe I am going to be a parent. It is the biggest, most important job that I have ever had the privilege of taking on. God has given me such an amazing gift. Tomorrow I will be Adalyn's Mommy.

Letters from Lockdown: Day 7

Wooooooohoooooooo! We are going to meet our daughter on Friday, just three days from now. I can't believe it is finally here. We went to the doctor this morning. My blood pressure was still high and unfortunately Addy was even higher. She still has not dropped and therefore, my cervix has not begun to soften and dilate. My doctor discussed my options with me and she said that even if we were to wait another week, the chances of me being able to have her vaginally was less than 10%. She offered to let me come in on Thursday night and start Pitocin and try to induce labor first, but she said that honestly, the results would be the same. She said that even with contractions, with the way my cervix was at this point, it would be not enough to get her down and get my cervix open. In the end I would be 12 hours exhausted from having labor contractions, but never any signs of labor. So Justin and I decided that a c-section was our best option. I am disappointed....but I want her to have the safest possible delivery....and you all know how READY I am, so I feel relieved. We are scheduled for 10:30am Friday morning. Dr. Chauhan said I should be holding my baby by 11! I am so excited, I can't wait to see the little face that I have been growing for 9 months!!! I am still on bed rest for Wednesday and Thursday, but now, with an end in sight I don't feel so depressed! I actually feel a little panicked. I mean I have to get my house clean, finish up the last of my work, get everything arranged for my dogs.....in just 2 days!! I am lucky that Dee was here yesterday and did laundry for us and my Mom is here to help me get the house ready before Friday. Justin is taking off Thursday too to do any last minute stuff and get the car loaded. So I know it will all get taken care of. Get ready for pictures people! It is finally happening....I am having a baby!!!!!!!!

Weekend Update: T-1 week

My weekend update is a day late....guess I was too busy sitting on the couch yesterday to write in my blog!

Let's see, this weekend I sat on the couch, and then I sat on the couch, and Oooh I almost forgot, after than...I sat on the couch!

As ugly and cranky and obnoxious as I am right now, I want all of my family, friends, and especially my husband to know how much I APPRECIATE and LOVE them so much! Everyone has been so supportive. I have gotten more sweet texts, phone calls, facebook messages, and even drop by visits (with presents and food) than I could have imagined. It is almost hard to feel sorry for myself when I think of how blessed I am and how many people have shown their love for me, and my little family. My Mom cleaned my house for me last week, my girls and my brother call/txt me daily, Julie mailed me the sweetest card and calls/txts to check on me, DB and Wanda cooked dinner for us Saturday (including ice cream cake for dessert!), Sara came by and spent the afternoon with me Sunday (with a bag full of candy and gossip mags from her and Esther), and now Dee is here today catching up our laundry and cooking us dinner. I am so thankful to everyone, you all are so wonderful!! And my sweet little Justin.....he has been the best. He worked around the house all day Saturday, did the grocery shopping, came home with flowers and US weekly magazine, and Sunday cooked me my favorite pasta and shrimp dinner. I love you honey!

Now we are just waiting for our doctor's appointment in the morning....fingers crossed. I'm so ready to meet Adalyn!!!

Letters from Lockdown: Day 4

I have been laying on the couch since 7am. It is now 11:30. FUN!

Yesterday's doctor's appointment was basically pointless, but we did get some good news....still not the news I was hoping for, however. I had lost 4 lbs since Tuesday which is great, knock that off the 70 I've gained. I did not get to see my doctor, she got stuck in surgery. I did not particularly like the guy that I saw instead. He was kind of an ass-hat. We had another ultra sound and Adalyn is still doing great. She was VERY active for some reason yesterday. It was like she was around 7 months. Something just had her happy I guess (possibly the yummy baskin robbins ice cream I had just eaten??). The tech doing the ultrasound was actually having a hard time getting her measurements because she was squirming around so much. She did point out her very fat little cheeks! She tried to print us off a face picture, but again she was to wiggly and it came out all blurry. But she looks cute...of course! My blood pressure was better. Blood pressure is weird to me. The top number was higher, but the bottom number was considerably lower, which pleased the jerk doctor that I saw. Tuesday my BP was 149/90 and yesterday it was 152/70. They did say that although my urine test was not positive for toxemia at this time, some of my levels were boarder line for having it and that it can progress to a serious situation quickly, so I am still on bed rest.

Dr. Chauhan was walking in as we were walking out. She apologized and said she had been in surgery all day. I told her my results and she was pleased, but Jerk Doctor made some smart ass comment that she could tell was irritating me. She kindly put her hand on my shoulder and told me not to worry we would talk more Tuesday when I saw her........

I am praying so hard that she will have a very safe and healthy delivery SOON. I am praying that she will drop and that I will be able to go into labor on my own. I'm ready when ever she is!! I know we are still a week from our due date. I am just impatient I guess....and laying on the couch is definitely not making me any less anxious!!!!!!

Letters from Lockdown: Day 2

In case you didn't already know my doctor put me on bed rest Tuesday due to high blood pressure and crazy insane swelling. I had to finish out the rest of the day because I already had two meetings scheduled. So Wednesday was my first day and today is Day 2. I feel like I have been given a prison sentence, which is odd because I LOVE being lazy, watching TV, and lounging around the house in my PJs. There is just something about being told that I HAVE to that makes it not as fun.

Speaking of fun, the doctor's office called me today and reported that my 24 hours urine collection results were good. I would like to just say that collecting my own pee for 24 hours was probably one of THE MOST DISGUSTING things I have ever done in my entire life. They give you this big gallon jug, which unlike a gallon of milk, is more long that round. So lets just get a mental picture of how that works for a female. You have to pull your pants and underwear pretty much off because you have to totally straddle the toilet and squat to get that thing in between your legs yet over the toilet. You want it over the toilet, because trust me, pee is going to go in other places besides in that jug. I peed in the jug, on the jug, on my hand. on the seat of the toilet, some in the floor and I'm pretty sure I peed on my night gown at one point during one of many of my middle of the night pees. I was thoroughly disgusted with myself when I got up yesterday morning. Wrapping up that jug (after wiping it down with Clorox wipes of course), putting it in my car, and taking it into the doctor's office was one of the happiest moments ever. I hope I never have to do that again. Now I just have to disinfect my bathroom!

However, I am relived that the results were good. My blood test also came back good, so no signs of toxemia. I go back to the doctor tomorrow to have my blood pressure re-tested and to talk about our options from there. Dr. Chauhan told me on Tuesday that I would absolutely not have to go past next Friday the 26th. However, depending on my blood pressure she may induce before then. We also are unsure if I will be able to deliver vaginally. I had an ultrasound on Tuesday and we learned that Miss Adalyn already weighs approx. 8 lbs. Shes a whopper! I'm happy she is so healthy, but Mommy is so miserable. I could literally just start screaming or crying at any point of the day. My back just feels like it could snap at any moment. I guess that is what an extra 70lbs will do for you. I can't really focus on the amount of weight that I have gained because in this extremely sensitive emotional state that I am currently in, I would probably cut myself! Anyway, after my pelvic exam, Dr. Chauhan feels that Addy has "retreated" and has not dropped, she is now further up than she was the week before. She is hiding!! Taking her size into consideration, my doctor feels like her head may be preventing her from dropping, and without dropping there isn't enough pressure on my pelvis to start dilation. GgggrrRRrrrrr. So, I'm looking forward to tomorrow to see what she will tell me.

I have not left my house today. But I have to say that the day wasn't all bad. My supervisor Barbara and two of my co-workers, including my sweet friend Carrie, came by my house this morning. They surprised me, I thought I was meeting with Barbara for work. They showed up with gifts in hand! They had a shower scheduled for me at work this morning, but my bed rest threw off their plans, so they had to bring the shower to me. My whole office met this morning and Barbara videoed them talking to me as if it was the shower. It was so sweet, such a wonderful surprise. I work for really awesome people, and I have really awesome co-workers. I am very lucky. Also, my Mom came today to keep my company and help around the house. It has been nice having someone here, Without her I probably would have attempted escape at least once....being on lock down is hard!