Weekend Update: T-4 Weeks

This week was crazy! Tennessee experienced ICE....and lots of it. The wintry mix started here in Memphis around 9am Friday morning and did not stop all day. We had a steady steam of sleet and frozen rain. We saw a little bit of snow, but not near as much as some of the other places around us. Our back yard was a solid sheet of ice, our poor doggies had no idea what to think of it. They sort of just slid around out there. Although the weather made for some very serious conditions around here, all weekend the neighborhood was filled with happy kids playing up and down the street on four wheelers and trash can lids. I for one did not appreciate the weather whatsoever! My family baby shower was supposed to be Saturday evening and it had to be postponed due to bad roads and ice. I was so very disappointed, I was really looking forward to spending time with my family and best friends. It was one of those weeks (you know from earlier posts) where I just could have used the time with my girls. Also, I hate being on lock down in the house. I started going a little stir crazy Friday, so come Saturday afternoon I had to get out! Since we couldn't go to Jackson for the shower, Justin took me to Chickfila and then to Target. We weren't gone long, but it was enough to keep me from losing it!

Luckily, our shower today was able to go on. Our sweet cousin Ceecee and Aunt Linda had a wonderful shower for us. It was really beautiful and Justin and I had a great time. And Kyle and Ceecee's new house is so pretty! I am so happy that everyone was able to make it safely and celebrate baby Adalyn with us. I can say one thing, Adalyn is going to be one very stylish baby!

The rest of the week was kind of blah for me. I spent most of it in a terrible mood, and I can't really tell you why. Our child birth class Wednesday night was great. We talked about options for pain management, which I love...I love pain medication! We have one more week, we really have learned a lot and the class has helped to relieve many of my anxieties about the actual process if childbirth.

We are now only 4 weeks away from her arrival. I just cannot believe it!! There have been a few points throughout that have seemed to drag a little, but really my pregnancy has gone by so fast. Right now I enjoy spending time in her nursery just getting things organized and ready for my baby to come home. Sometimes I also like to just sit in the recliner in there. I am not doing anything in there, I just like being in her nursery. There is nothing easy about being 9 months pregnant, but as much as hard as it is, I know that in the end, Justin and I are going to have a daughter! What a miracle and a blessing. I can't wait to meet her and see that little face for the first time. It won't be long!

My Justin

I was just reading my friend Valerie's blog and she had the sweetest post about her husband, Matt. It really made me think of how under appreciated my Justin probably feels sometimes, since my big...and usually crazy...personality usually overshadows his calm, cool, laid back personality. I make most things about me and I can be pretty dramatic...again back to the crazy....but in all reality, there wouldn't be a me without him (I probably would have long sense been committed or jailed!) So here are a just a few of the things that I love about my sweet husband Justin.

* Justin has never raised his voice to me in anger...EVER
* He loves my dog, Darby...and she is kindof a buttmunch
* He is so good to all of my family. Sometimes I think they like him more!
* When I'm getting all crazy, he just lets me do it. He doesn't engage my craziness or allow a fight to start.
* I have never had to take out the trash
* He still randomly brings home flowers for me every now and then, just because
* Justin has always supported me being in school...even though we are just racking up more student loans for us to pay on until we are 75. My graduating is as important to him as it is to me
* Justin is probably THE most thoughtful man I have ever known. He has never forgotten a holiday or aniversary and he almost always gives sweeter cards and puts more thought into gifts than I do.
* 3+ years into our relationship, he still opens the car door for me
* He took me to see New Moon (and he knew I only wanted to see it to drool over my 17 year old boyfriend Taylor Lautner)
* He makes me soup and grilled cheese when I'm sick, and he cuts my sandwich in half like I like it
* He doesn't make fun of the fact that I talk to my mom on the phone like 3 times a day
* Justin is smart about money, good thing one of us is. He thinks ahead and plans for our future, good thing one of us does.
* He lets me plan things the way I want, and then when I over plan or get myself into messes, he is the first one to help me out, without ever saying I told you so
* Justin is trustworthy and he is a man of his word. I could tell him I killed someone and burried them in our backyard and he would never tell a soul. I know I am safe with him
* He listens to all of my disgusting gory pregnancy details (in horror I'm sure, but you can't tell by looking)
* Justin is crazy about our baby...I can't wait for Adalyn to get here because he is going to be the most amazing daddy. I can't wait to watch their little relationship grow, I already know she is going to be a daddy's girl.


These are just a few things, I could continue on....

Cranky, Crazy, and Emotional

I am proud to say that until this point, I really do not think I have been that crazy pregnant woman that you read about or see on TV. I have tried very hard to keep things in our life as normal as possible.

I have only had 2 major emotional outbursts. The first was way early like around 4 months when we were getting ready to travel to a family wedding and I didn't have anything pretty that fit anymore. I did sit in our bedroom closet and cry hysterically, but we survived. The second was at the first doctor's appointment that I managed to gain 11 lbs in 4 weeks (yes, that happened more than once!). I cried like a maniac through the entire appointment.

I have not become overly dependant on my husband for things at home. I have managed to do the same amount of housework that I have always done and have only asked for help in carrying laundry downstairs.

I have not physically threatened my husband in any way or sent him out in the middle of the night to feed any bizarre cravings.

So I've done pretty good, right? Until now! Why is it this week that everything has pissed me off or hurt my feelings, or made me cry? I am out of control, seriously. Pooh jumped on me the other night and scratched me in like 3 different places. Yes it stung...but I cried...a lot! It hurt my feelings! He is a dog, he didn't mean to, but I took it so personally! I have hated everyone at work this week and just hated my job in general. I have found it extremely difficult to be kind and compassionate and I am a social worker, its my job! I have been rolling my eyes and huffing and puffing while waiting in lines at Target or the grocery store like people should just move and let me go first and I even flipped a guy off in the Babies R Us parking lot for not slowing down in the pedestrian crossing...OK maybe he deserved that, I mean really, does it make you feel good to mow down pregnant women with your Escalade a-hole? My poor husband and dogs have gotten on my very last nerve. I've yelled at snapped and looked at them with the evil eye many times and they haven't done anything, I'm just mean! I don't sleep well and I find myself in the middle of the night just crying because I'm so uncomfortable and so pissed that I'm not asleep. Again, crazy. Now to top it off, this lovely snow/sleet/ice storm is probably going to cause our showers to be cancelled this weekend. I have been looking forward to them so much. I've been crying all day and in the worst mood. I just want to throw something at the snow! It is no one's fault, it is just one of those things, but I'm taking this personally too! I am thinking bad thoughts about all those stupid little kids outside loving the snow.

I hope this passes. I don't know if poor Justin will survive 4 more weeks of this, I don't know if I will survive 4 more weeks of this...I'm a loon.

Weekend Update: T-5 weeks

This week was kind of rough over all. I feel like I am really losing steam and channeling the Little Engine that Could I have to keep reminding myself "I think I can...I think I can...". I am really tired and not getting much sleep at night. Until like noon, I basically feel like a two ton zombie. A lot of this is of course due to the fact that I am 35 weeks pregnant, I have a giant belly, there is NO comfortable way to lay at this point, I pee every hour on the hour, I am having some graphic and very bizarre dreams about labor delivery and giant talking babies, and my hips and back are killing me. My swelling is just out of control. My legs, ankles, and feet are HUGE, I've never seen anything like it and it really sucks. I am also battling a sinus infection this week that is making me feel like poo, but the good news is I seem to have found a medication combination that does help a little; mucinex and sudafed. But in the mean time I can't breathe through my nose, therefore my throat gets very sore at night and my lips are so chapped that they just hurt. I also tried a saline nose spray (as a substitute for Affrin which I am addicted to during sinus infections) and ohmygod that is just horrific torture. I gagged, coughed, spit, and cried all at the time time. I will not be using that spray ever again.

Now that I have all of that out, the week did have some wonderful high points:

* had dinner with my friend Laura who I haven't seen in months
* bought 2 nursing bras that actually fit
* great report at my doctor's appointment Tuesday, Addy is doing wonderful
* DB's 50th birthday party was awesome, so much fun! Wanda knows how to throw a party! And John made it home for the party, added bonus.
* Sara and Esther had a wonderful baby shower for me today! It was just a small, intimate gathering, but they really made it special. The decorations were beautiful, the food was delicious and the games were hilarious; very fun afternoon. Plus I got to bring home lots of new goodies for Adalyn, some left over fried ravioli (Esther knows what I like!), and I'm enjoying (again) one of the yummy cupcakes as we speak SCORE!
* Payton is going to the Super Bowl...my husband is on top of the world

BRA-LLELUIAH!

Everyone who reads my blog knows my struggles with my "girls". In fact, if you have seen some of my baby shower pics on Facebook from this past Sunday...you are probably now even sympathetic towards me, because YIKES they are monstrous!

So last night I was having dinner with my friend Laura (who I haven't seen in forever and it was fabulous!) and she told me that her mother was a lactation specialist at Baptist where I will be having Addy. What great news! I have never met her Mom, but Laura offered to introduce me before she heads back to Nashville so that I could ask her any questions and get comfortable with her, since she and I will have a very intimate relationship in just a few short weeks :) On into our conversation I was sharing with Laura my discomfort with my bra and what a horrible time I have had finding bras. She also told me that Baptist has a women's boutique inside the hospital and she thought they had some nursing bras. I was skeptical...I mean I've been every where in this city looking for something that would fit me, but at this point what to I have to lose?

Today I went by the boutique to look at bras. The specialist working was so nice to me and was almost motherly. I told her what a hard time I was having and that it was to the point now that I was in pain because of my lack of support. She grabbed a handful of sizes and went into the fitting room with me to get the job done! I was not even embarrassed, I was just hoping something might possibly work. And it did! I will not actually tell you the size that I walked out with....mainly because you probably wouldn't be live me....and its a little embarrassing! I purchased two of them and practically skipped out the door I was so happy!

While I was checking out, Laura walked in. She was having lunch with her Mom and went and got her to come meet me. Ms. McGee was awesome! She is so sweet and she even offered to take me on a tour of the maternity floor. Went went up to the 2nd floor and she showed me a birthing suite like what I will be in when Addy comes. She explained how the whole process will go down. Then we went up to the 4th floor, where we will go after I recover. The rooms are so nice and spacious. Baptist is really an amazing Women's facility. She gave me a lot of tips on what to prepare and what to bring for us and for Addy as well. Every tip she gave me was so helpful. She really helped me so much to feel more at ease. On the way back down we stopped by the nursery and saw some sweet, tiny little newborn babies. It made me a little nervous to see those sweet little angels, but excited too!!!

As soon as I got home I raced up stairs practically stripping on the way up and I put on my new bra. AAAaaaaaahhHHH! This feels great, the most comfortable my "girls" have been since like week 9! I am so relieved to have some nursing bras that are supportive and comfortable and functional for when my girl gets here. I won the battle of the boobs!!

Weekend Update: T-6 weeks

We are now 6 weeks away from our due date.....crazy!! I can't even belive it. As I watched Justin put together and complete our new baby swing tonight (which is now sitting up completely assembled in our living room just waiting for a baby) I begin to feel a little twinge of panick in my stomach. There is going to be a baby in that swing very soon. A real baby...a baby that belongs to me...that lives here ...and I am fully responsible for her life. It is starting to hit me. I am going to be a mommy!

This past Wednesday we started our child birth class. It is a four week course one night a week at our doctor's office. There are about 10 couples in our class and it is quite a diverse group. I am the 3rd pregnant-ist girl in or class, there are two girls due about a week before me. Most everyone else is due in April. Justin and I really enjoyed the class. Our instructor gave some very good information and it was nice to just hear things from other expecting moms; such as their worries, concerns, discomforts, etc. It made me feel like maybe I am somewhat normal in some of my craziness. It was also nice to be reminded how blessed I have been throughout my pregnancy because I really have had it pretty easy. There were a lot of women who have had some serious problems throughout their pregnancy. Although I am definately in the seriuosly uncomfortable stage now, and I am not getting much sleep at all.....up until the last few weeks I haven't had much to complain about.

Friday we went to the Mother's Day Out program that I mentioned earlier this week and we loved it. A sense of comfort sort of came over me as we toured it and I feel like that is going to be a great place for our baby girl. Definately a relief!

Saturday we got to spend the day with Julie, Brandon, and Lucy. We don't get to see them near as much as we would like to so this day was a treat! We did some eating, watched a little football, and did a lot of laughing! Lucy is at such a great age. She is so much fun...and so FUNNY! This was the second time this week that Justin and I got to hang out with our sweet neice, and we enjoyed every minute of it. She is a mess! I think she even started to like her Uncle Justin and Aunt Jenn. Being with her also made me even more excited for Adalyn to get here. Saturday was just a really great day!

Sunday we had our first baby shower in Halls at cousin Shelley's house. Adalyn got some really great gifts. I know I say it all the time, but we really are blessed with wonderful family. I just can't say it enough. We enjoyed the afternoon with the family...and we ate some really yummy cake!

Another busy week awaits us....looking forward to DB's 50th birthday party this coming weekend and another baby shower with some of my girlfriends!

Feeling Less Flustered Today...

So as the saying goes "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade" I guess that is what I have done...sort of. After pouting all night, feeling anxious lost and depressed, and hearing the song "Beauty School Drop Out" playing repeatedly over and over in my head, I decided this morning that there was nothing I could do about the situation with school and I would just have to make the best of it. And let's be honest, more time to focus on my sweet newborn daughter is a little better than just making the best of it.

Everyone knows how I am always talking about how amazing my girlfriends are? This morning, one of them proved to me again that friends really are like Angels! As I was venting my frustrations out to Carrie and telling her how now I really have no need for full time day care (as I won't be student teaching in the fall and I work from home 2 days a week) she offered to also take care of Addy on her 2 days a week working from home. She volunteered to drive out to my house 2 days a week and take care of my baby! How wonderful is that? I have been so leary about Day Care ever since we signed Addy up back in the fall. The facility is nice and close to our home, but really....it is a scary decision. With Carrie, I have one of my closest friends, that I know and trust 100% caring for my baby...in the comfort of Addy's own home! It is like the 3rd best thing to being home with her myself or having one of the Grandmas! I am so thankful and so happy!

This left me down to 1 day a week. I did some research and some asking around and I was referred to check out a Mother's Day Out program at a local church that is very close to my office. I looked up their program on the internet and it seemed pretty good. I called to speak with them, and the woman that I got on the phone was so sweet and gave wonderful information. She made me feel great about it by just talking to her on the phone....but I'm no dummy :) I have a tour set up for Justin and I to go see it Friday morning. It is one of the few MDO programs that will take a baby at 3 months old and the rate is more than reasonable! So if all goes well with the tour....it looks like we might be set up!

Although my plans aren't exactly what I had planned...I can say that I am much more comfortable with these arrangements for my baby. And she is after all, the most important one!

FRUSTRATED!

I am so mad at the University of Memphis that I could go up there and be VERY ugly right now....don't they know that pissing off a pregnant woman is not advisable! I am in quite a dilemma with my classes. Before pregnancy my plan was to be student teaching this semester (Spring 10). I would take the last class that I have left in the summer then my master's project in the fall of 2010 and graduate in December. When we found out I was pregnant, this changed a little and pushed everything back a semester. I am not able to student teach this semester, obviously, since I will be giving birth first of March and then out for 6 weeks. I wouldn't be able to get in enough hours to get credit as student teaching is 16 weeks. So I decided to go ahead and take my last class, Intro to Grad Research this semester, rest during the summer, student teach in the fall, Grad project spring 2011 and graduate May 2011. Justin and I have been preparing for this fall since we found out I was pregnant. We knew that I would not be working (or working 40 hours/week for FREE) so we have been getting our finances in order so that I would be able to do it, along with having a new born, and possibly trying to keep my job at Compass part time. I was scared, but prepared and ready! I logged onto my school account today to see that fees are due this Wednesday and my financial aid had not yet posted. So I called and they informed me that you must be enrolled in at least 5 hours to get financial aid....my one class is 3 hours. I asked if there were any exceptions, since I honestly don't have any other classes I could take. Of course the answer is no. We can't afford to pay my tuition at this time out of pocket....we have a baby due in 7 weeks!!!! Sooooooooo, it looks like I will be putting off graduation until December 2011! My baby will be almost 2! We can save money so that I can take the class this fall and pay for it out of pocket, student teach in spring 2011, Grad project fall 2011 and graduate December 2011. That seems like f-o-r-e-v-e-r. I do not have this kind of time people....I would like to be out of school and actually using my degree before I am 100 years old!

My New Years Resolutions

I realize that it is the 6th of January, but I really had to think long and hard before making my resolutions this year because for whatever reason, it is important to me to keep them. So I have made my decisions and am posting them publically so that I can be held accountable!

#1) I will keep my hands to myself and try to remember that I am a lady during labor and delivery. I do not want to physically assault my husband, because, although at the time I will be blaming all of the pain and torture on him....I know that I was a willing participant in the creation of our daughter and therefore consented to allowing my body to go through this trauma. I also want to remember that whatever flies out of my mouth may not be rememberd by me...but it will be remembered by everyone in the room, and I don't want to cause myself any more embarassment than normal labor already allows (hello..lady town up in the air for all to see!)

#2) I will run a 5K by October 2010. I had started running right before I got pregnant. I was no where near this goal at that time, but it was what I was working towards so I would like to pick up where I left off after Adalyn is born. I know this will be a great way for me to get back in shape after birth plus, if I am able to do this, the reward for me personally will be so great. I really REALLY want to accomplish this. Autism Solutions has an annual 5K in the fall (Sept. or Oct) and as this is a cause that is very dear to my heart, this will be my debut. I know it will be hard and seem almost impossible at times, but I am going to do it!

So there they are folks. Keep your fingers crossed for me!!

Birthday Girl

Today was my 28th birthday.....WOW....I have to take a minute and really process that number...t-w-e-n-t-y e-i-g-h-t. I know in my head that isn't old, but it is awfully close to 30, too close for my taste. But it is one of those inevitable things that you can't do anything about. It's crazy but I guess in my mind me and all of my friends are still 22ish, even though we are all basically married, with jobs, and babies (or babies on the way). It still seems unreal that I have friends that are turning 30, and that I am SO not far behind. When I am not thinking about the actual number....I have to admit that my life is pretty awesome. I am happily married to my wonderful husband, we have incredible family, I have the best group of girlfriends in the WORLD- ever, I have a great job and close to finishing my masters degree, and to top it off I only have 8 more weeks until I get to meet my daughter!

I had a great day today. There was no huge celebration, but it made me happy just the same. Justin and I went shopping, just for stuff. He got a new pair of tennis shoes and I got a new trashcan for the kitchen. It locks! Which means it is baby and doggie proof-I'm pretty excited about that! We came home, took a little nap (like some old folks) and then we went down town to eat dinner at Rendezvous then on to my favorite, Cheesecake Corner for delicious dessert. It was so nice to spend the day just the two of us. We don't get that chance very often without a list of things that we HAVE to do and I know that the chances will come even fewer and further between once Addy gets here, so for me today was extra special.

Sam text me this morning laughing remembering my birthday four years ago and how much we have changed since then. I celebrated my birthday 2006 (turning 24) with a Gangsta themed keg party! I wish I had a picture on my computer of my outfit that night....it was interesting to say the least. Sara and I were Gangsta'd out. Just thinking about it made me laugh too...hysterically. What a crazy night!! But she is right, we have come a long way and grown so much, and changed...for the better.

So I'll take 28 and enjoy it for a year, and not think about 29...or any other unmentionable birthdays that follow that. I am still a 20-something for now.