Three Months

How in the world is my little baby three months old already?! I can't believe how quickly the time is going by. She is such a joy to me. Right now she is very in to her bumbo seat. She thinks that laying down is for little babies and that sitting up in your bumbo seat is totally where its at! She is "talking" more and seems to coo and gurgle sometimes as if she was in conversation with me. She watches me so intently when I talk to her and smiles when I smile or laugh. It is awesome!

We took her to the pool for the first time two weekends ago. Unfortunately she was too small for the floaty that we bought her. Funny, that is the first time we have EVER been able to say that about anything when it comes to Addy, she's a big girl! When I bought it, I noticed that the box said 6+months, but I just never thought that my 17lb baby would ever be too small for anything. So pool day didn't go exactly as planned, but she did seem to like the water and I she looked adorable in her swimsuit!

Toys!

Yesterday was such a fun day! First of all I have to say again how much I LOVE my Tuesdays and Thursdays at home with Adalyn. I absolutely would not trade them for anything in the world. Some days are productive and others are not. Some days we get out of the house, and some days we do not. Either way, whatever we do, the day is awesome hanging out just the two of us!

As we are approaching 3 months (next week!) Addy is changing so much, both physically and developmentally. It is like she does something new every day! She laughed out loud for the first time on Mother's Day. It was a beautiful sound! Justin was talking to her and she was just listening so intently and then she let out a little chuckle. It was so precious and I could see how much it meant to her Daddy that he was the first one she laughed at! She smiles all the time in response to me talking to her and "talks" too. Her little fat, cheeky, grin is just too cute for words! I would love to show off some pictures of this pretty smile, however, I can't seem to catch it on camera. She can just be laughing and smiling away, but as soon as I break out the camera...the show is over. She puts on that pouty little grumpy face that you see in all of her pictures. I honestly think that the camera distracts her. It is grey and shiny and when it is in front of her she doesn't care what I am doing or what noises I am making to get her to laugh, she only wants to focus on the grey shiny thing...and focusing requires her serious face! But I am determined to catch that smile!

So, yesterday I had her in the floor propped up on her boppy pillow and I offered her a stuffed monkey to play with. She has never expressed any interest in toys of any kind, not even a rattle. So I expected her to look at me crazy and "request" her passy. She has started teething early so it is hard on her as she isn't old enough to really know how to hold a teether and put it to her mouth to chew. I tried holding an iced one to her mouth for her so that she could chew, but she just licked it like an ice cream cone...which was super cute, but not really helping her little swollen gum. The monkey that I offered her has chewable hands so I thought she might want to give it a try. She didn't care for the chewy hands but she did LOVE putting the soft parts of the monkey in her mouth. It was so so so SO cute. She was even holding him! She was going to town chewing on that monkey and Mommy was loving it. I took like a million pictures which I will post when I have a minute to download them to my computer. I couldn't believe she was finally taking interest in toys. I gave her a few more to try out. She still didn't care much for anything hard like rattles or teethers, but she was loving anything soft and furry and put it right in her mouth. I was so proud! I love that little girl!

Change

It has been over a month since my last post. I have vowed that I am going to start making time for my blog again because I really love writing this. It is like an outlet for me to just write whatever I want about my thoughts and experiences. Cheap therapy I guess you could say.



Anyway-so much has changed since I posted on Addy's one month birthday. Pretty much EVERYTHING in my life has changed in the last 5 weeks. Justin received a promotion at work, which is fantastic and I am so proud of him. However, with this promotion came a transfer to Nashville. I was excited to move. We have always hoped to to relocate to Nashville because it is just a nice place to live than Memphis and we have both of our siblings in the Nashville area. However, the idea of moving with a newborn was a very scary idea, not to mention we were going to have to put our house on the market at a not so great time and hope that it sells before Kenworth stops paying for our apartment in Nashville. Also, Justin's company was not into waiting around and wanted us to move in 2 weeks. We had a ton of work to complete on the house to get it ready to sell, we had to find an apartment and a daycare in Nashville, I had to find a job because my job did not have a position to transfer me to, and oh yeah....I had a one month old baby!



Moving day was horrible. We had been so rushed that everything was just thrown together and we were no where near as prepared for the move as we should have been. We had to store a great deal of our stuff because of course when you are downsizing from a 1700 square foot house to a 1100 square foot apartment, there is just not enough room for everything. So we had two separate moving trips, one to Brownsville for storage at Dee's house, and then the real move to Nashville. There was just not enough time to finish everything we had to do to the house to get it ready to sell so we just had to accept that we were going to have to come back next weekend and finish up. I hated walking out of my empty house. It was so emotional for me. That was the first home that Justin and I had together. I remember when we were looking for houses to buy. That was the first home that we saw. I loved it so much then, I thought it was perfect. And it was, it was a great place to live and I enjoyed so much making it into a home for us. I couldn't help but cry as I walked through the house. Around every corner there was a wonderful memory, like Justin putting together my yard snowman, cooking our first Thanksgiving meal, the morning that I found out I was pregnant, and bringing home our beautiful daughter from the hospital.



Let me just say that all of my fears and anxieties were justified and the entire moving process was a giant disaster. We were a perfect example of Newtons' law, and everything that could go wrong....did! I won't even go into all of the disastrous events...from the no panties fiasco to all of my good dishes being broken to the US Marshalls showing up on our doorstep the first day I was home alone with the baby....but I promise you, it was a nightmare. However, we did survive. We are finally somewhat settled into our tiny shoebox apartment. We are definitely busting at the seams and there is absolutely not even close to enough room...but its OK and I remind myself daily that it is only temporary. This is definitely not the way I thou gt I would be living as I raise my first child...but again...only temporary.



We no longer have Pooh. If you know Pooh, you know that he is just not an apartment dog- he is hyper and crazy and full of energy. But if you know me, you also know that my dogs are more than pets, they are family. I love Pooh so much and giving him to a new family was one of the hardest things I have had to do. I just felt like I was giving away a part of myself. My heart broke the day that Justin left to take him to his new home. Even typing this I can't help but tear up. I always wonder what he is doing and how he is and I miss him every single day.

I started my new job two weeks ago today. My brother in law, Brandon, owns a fitness gym called Chadwicks and he was gracious enough to offer me a job after I found out that I would not be able to transfer with Compass. I work the front desk part time and I am off on Tuesdays and Thursdays, which is such a blessing to be home two days a week with Addy. I get a little bored at work sometimes, but I am thankful to have a job and even more thankful for the time I get to spend with my daughter. I was definitely disappointed that Compass was not able to transfer me, because I did enjoy what I did there. But overall I am happy that things turned out the way that they did. The gym is right across the street from Adalyn's day care so it only takes me 1 minute to get over there to her at the end of the day. I pretty much run to my car at 5:00, I just can't wait to get there and scoop that little monkey up in my arms. Being with her is the best part of my day.

Justin's new job has proven to be quite a challenge. The Nashville shop has some major issues and he was hired as sort of the clean up guy to come in and fix everything. So his days are long and tiresome and he isn't home very much through the week. He is usually home just in time to help me get Addy ready for bed and then we go to bed ourselves as he is usually up and going again by 5am. This has been a hard adjustment for me and I'm sure for him as well. I feel lonely a lot and miss spending time with my hubby. I wish that he got to spend more time with Addy too. But I am so very proud of him and all of his accomplishments.

Addy is 10 weeks old now. I can't believe how fast time flies. Saturday she laughed out loud for the first time. It was precious! She smiles all the time and she is just so busy! She was like that when I was pregnant and I guess it just carried over. That girl is never still unless she is sleeping! I never imagined I could love someone so much. I just look at her and sometimes I feel like I could just bust from all the love I feel for her. I love love LOVE that baby!

1 Month Old

I can't believe Adalyn is one month old today. It has been exactly four weeks today since my sweet little girl was born. The time has flown by so fast and she has changed so much already. She makes the sweetest little noises, especially when she is eating, which is her most favorite thing to do. I can tell when she hears my voice and is looking for me. Her little face just makes my heart melt. Being a mommy is the most awesome experience I have ever had in my life. I love every single moment, even the crying and the diapers, I love it all, she is so amazing! I never thought I could love anyone so much! We have so much going on right now, but I am making sure that I enjoy every second that I have with her. I hate to even think about going back to work, but for now I have three more weeks to spend every waking moment focused on loving on this sweet little baby!

Adalyn

Adalyn Ryan Baker was born on Friday February 26 at 10:55 am. She weighed 8lbs and 15 oz and was 21 inches long. The first comment out of my doctor's mouth was "Look at those cheeks!" I absolutely could not believe how beautiful she was when they brought her around that curtain and showed me her face for the very first time. It was love at first sight for me and for Justin. Our baby girl is finally here!

I have been slacking on my blogging since she was born, but being a new mommy is very time consuming. I spend most of my day either feeding, changing, or pumping. If I'm not doing one of those things, I'm catching a nap, or just staring in wonder at my beautiful daughter. It is just amazing that Justin and I created that tiny precious little thing. Who needs TV, I really could just watch her all day long. She makes the cutest little faces, even when she is sleeping and makes the cutest little sounds. Really, everything she does is cute and perfect to me.

We are doing really well. Addy had lost a little weight at her first doctor's appointment, but has since regained back to her birth weight plus some. On this past Tuesday she was 9lbs. She eats good and sleeps good, just has her nights and days a little mixed up. During the day she will sleep any where from 3-4 1/2 hours between eating. At night she has been waking up every hour to two hours. We put her in her nursery for the first time two nights ago and that is really when this started. I almost wonder if she can sense that she is all alone in there and maybe she is scared. I know that is probably not it and I am just a silly mommy, but it still makes me a little sad. Its not like I am really getting sleep anyway because with her in the other room all I do is stare at the baby monitor screen. That thing by the way, is awesome! Our monitor is so good I can actually see her breathing on it. Thank you Summar baby monitor!

My recovery is going well. I am still pretty sore and on days that I do more or get out it gets worse, but I hardly have time to think about it or notice. The whole c-section thing was not nearly as bad as I had imagined it to be.

Our family and friends have been so amazing since we got home. We have had so many to bring by food, call to check on us, coming by to visit, or just sending sweet messages on facebook. I have just been blown a way by all the love and support. We are so very blessed!

My Mom has been staying with us since she was born and today she went home. I do not know what I would have done the past two weeks without her. She has kept my house clean, laundry done, made sure we ate, and done anything and everything I needed or asked. She is the best. I am so thankful that she was able to be here with me and Addy. I have been sad all day about her leaving and we both miss Nana already.

Today we took Adalyn to see the Easter Bunny to have her picture made. She was a perfect little angel and slept through the whole thing! It is still a little surreal to me that I actually have a baby to take to have her first picture with the Easter Bunny! The last two weeks have been full of firsts and many beautiful memories have been made. I already see how quickly the time flies. She is two weeks old....it seems like she was born yesterday. Our lives have completely changed, and I am loving every minute of it. Being a mommy is more amazing than I could have ever expected.

I can't believe she is really here and really ours!

Tomorrow I become a Mommy

I can't be live this journey has finally come to the end. I remember the morning that I found out I was pregnant. It was late June, we had been back from our Canadian vacation right at two weeks. I sort of had an inkling...(that added on to the fact that I knew we had too much Riesling on a wine tour one night and forgot our "prevention" while on vaca). I had taken a pregnancy test two days before and it was negative, but I just had a feeling. It was a Friday morning. I took my test in the other bathroom while Justin was showering because if it was negative again I didn't want him to think I was crazy. The first pink line appeared and then a very faint...VERY FAINT second line began to show. I was shaking so hard I could hardly walk into our bathroom. I made Justin get out of the shower to look at it. He was a little more skeptical, but I could see the slightest glimpse of excitement spread across his face. What an incredible morning that was! It seems like it was just a few weeks ago....not 9 months ago. The time has flown by so fast. OK, maybe not the last 4 weeks or so, but the rest of it really and truly has just been a blur. A crazy, emotional, beautiful, surprising, special, breath taking, blur.

Today was my last day of being a non-parent. I woke up very early this morning and came down stairs. I spent about an hour holding Darby and giving her lots of kisses. It seems like she sort of knows that everything in our lives is about to change. I know I won't get to spend near as much time loving on my first born baby after Addy gets here, so I loved our cuddle time. After Justin got up, we went to breakfast at Waffle House. I LOVE Waffle House and it was delicious. We came home and spent the rest of the afternoon finishing up some last minute stuff. I finished up my work and set my voicemail and email to away messages. It feels very strange that I won't be at work for 6-8 weeks! I wanted to leave my caseload in a good place so that my supervisor wouldn't be in a hot mess while I am out. Mom cleaned the house all morning...like serious clean, she even did the windows. I am positive that my windows have never been cleaned. Justin ran some errands, picked up groceries, got batteries in everything that is baby, and got the wipe warmer going. I finished adding last minute things into our hospital bag and got the last of our thank you notes written and in the mail. After that we really just took it easy and relaxed a little. Mom cooked us a yummy spaghetti dinner tonight, and my brother just got here about 30 minutes ago. It is getting so close! We have lots of family and friends that will be sharing our big day with us and that makes me very happy!

I wish I could write exactly how I am feeling right now, but I can't seem to think of the right words. I am so full of emotions like excitement and anticipation and love and....so many other things. But I also feel very peaceful. I am not nervous at all. That could all change in the morning, but I will enjoy the calm for now. As much as I can't wait to see my daughter for the first time, I really really can't wait to see Justin see and hold our daughter for the first time. He is going to be such a wonderful Daddy! I am about to have a little family....I never imagined I would ever be this lucky.

Tonight I will be praying for a safe delivery of one healthy baby girl. I can't believe I am going to be a parent. It is the biggest, most important job that I have ever had the privilege of taking on. God has given me such an amazing gift. Tomorrow I will be Adalyn's Mommy.

Letters from Lockdown: Day 7

Wooooooohoooooooo! We are going to meet our daughter on Friday, just three days from now. I can't believe it is finally here. We went to the doctor this morning. My blood pressure was still high and unfortunately Addy was even higher. She still has not dropped and therefore, my cervix has not begun to soften and dilate. My doctor discussed my options with me and she said that even if we were to wait another week, the chances of me being able to have her vaginally was less than 10%. She offered to let me come in on Thursday night and start Pitocin and try to induce labor first, but she said that honestly, the results would be the same. She said that even with contractions, with the way my cervix was at this point, it would be not enough to get her down and get my cervix open. In the end I would be 12 hours exhausted from having labor contractions, but never any signs of labor. So Justin and I decided that a c-section was our best option. I am disappointed....but I want her to have the safest possible delivery....and you all know how READY I am, so I feel relieved. We are scheduled for 10:30am Friday morning. Dr. Chauhan said I should be holding my baby by 11! I am so excited, I can't wait to see the little face that I have been growing for 9 months!!! I am still on bed rest for Wednesday and Thursday, but now, with an end in sight I don't feel so depressed! I actually feel a little panicked. I mean I have to get my house clean, finish up the last of my work, get everything arranged for my dogs.....in just 2 days!! I am lucky that Dee was here yesterday and did laundry for us and my Mom is here to help me get the house ready before Friday. Justin is taking off Thursday too to do any last minute stuff and get the car loaded. So I know it will all get taken care of. Get ready for pictures people! It is finally happening....I am having a baby!!!!!!!!